It hurts so bad
to tell you
I don't want to keep writing
to tell you
I don't want to keep these kids
that I wish they had never been born
but they were
and now their lives
are filled with neglect
and now their lives
are filed away on a hard drive
and the only thing left to do
is a memory wipe
but it's not that simple
because I love them
and it's never that simple
because I love you
and love is never simple
because simple things don't kill people
and love is killing me
My heart
doesn't know when to beat
my heart
seems to think arrhythmia
is a rythm
and days go by
where I can barely take a breath
and days go by
where I forget to breathe
so I might be dead already
but I wouldn't know
what it feels like
I wouldn't be able to translate death
for you
because you're so alive
in my heart
because you'll be alive
when I take my final breath
so I might be dead already
but that doesn't change a thing
It hurts so bad
to write these words
it makes me sick
to write these words
and file them under
maybe
because maybe is a baby
who wants to say yes
but hasn't learned to talk yet
like me
who hasn't learned to talk
just to file words
under maybe
just to file away words
like love
to put them in their incubators
and watch them grow
to put them in my heart
and make me hurt
hurt so good
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