Sock Monkey

She told me I was silly

which I translated to endearing

but probably meant silly

probably meant I'm leaving you

because that's what she did

that's what she was going to do

when she told me I was silly

I blame my sock monkey

which probably sounds silly

but inanimate objects

are altruistic black holes

ready to take on burdens

that we can't bear ourselves

toilets for our emotional feces

It's easier to forget her

knowing that I'm not to blame

for mistaking the way she said love

as the way that I say love

as the way I still love

the way she called me silly

while wearing a shit eating grin

Gumshoe

I've been reading mysteries
where the gruff gumshoe
turns his back
on the crazy dame
and lets her know
with an over-the-shoulder
dollface
that no how
no way
is she pulling the trigger

The problem
if you want to call it that
is that I'm the dame
and it kills me
when you walk away
but the bullet
in the chamber
is just so much lead
waiting to drag
the both of us down

Sirens announce
the police have arrived
to arrest me
for falling in love
with the only one capable
of making me culpable
in a crime
I didn't commit
a crime of inaction
with my prints on the gun

Fruit of the Wound

We don't ask to be born

to have our feeding tubes removed

and be cast out from comfort

by those who carry us

This animosity we harbor

is prenatal in nature and natural

like the guttural cries we make

as we're washed out in blood

It's a case where cage-free

leaves an unpleasant after taste

a reminder we're embryos eating eggs

that we're still trapped in limbo

Parasites who pretend at altruism

we bear affected affection

with a grin as often as we can

until we simply cannot

We don't ask to die

to have our feeding tubes removed

and be cast out from comfort

by those who carry us

Brother where are you?

We've been through this

a hundred times

a thousand

in all those gaps

in the conversation

in all those breaks

between the lines

in all those absences

Something is missing

and I wonder if it's you

I wonder where you are

and when you left

because I never saw you go

you were just gone

and I followed in your footprints

but I've got bigger feet

I've filled in the outlines

of where you were

with where I've gone

I've superimposed myself

on phantoms of you

and together

we've walked through the world

to come out the other side

I used to be so sure of you

so sure you were a you

someone I could use

to construct a me

so sure that I chased

that fleeting hope

to recognize myself

in the eyes of another

I guess I'm all grown up now

or stupid enough

to want to be a grown up

to want an identity

of my own

there's a long way to go yet

but I know I'll get there

knowing you came this way